It's inconsequential...

is what I kept telling myself as we adapted my feature screenplay for TV.

Consider the phrasing of this Action:

John takes a stack of worn labeled cardboard boxes upstairs, puts them down at the top of the stairs, then quickly runs back downstairs crossing paths with Jane on her way upstairs.

What's the point of, "on her way upstairs"? If these characters are crossing paths on a stairwell, aren't they already moving in opposite directions? To add, "on her way upstairs" is inconsequential. I believe this type of inconsequential text, and subtext for that matter, takes value away from the description rather than add to it.

Look at these definitions of in·con·se·quen·tial [in-kon-si-kwen-shuhl]:

–adjective

1. of little or no importance; insignificant; trivial.
2. inconsequent; illogical.

try these:

1. not following logically as a consequence.
2. trivial or insignificant.
3. not in a logical sequence; haphazard.

Believe me, it's liberating to identify unnecessary, illogical, trivial or insignificant action... whole scenes are getting cut or reworked! And what's more, at least in my opinion, is that the story gets better!! Accept it, the script is a filmmaking blueprint, the genesis of film. Listen, I don't want my script butchered because I can't logically structure scenes. It's true! The script is written for the Reader - whoever that is.

All script types have set page counts. My goal as a screenwriter is to use as few words as necessary to reveal as much about a story as possible within a set format. I'm learning that I need to know the story I'm writing well enough for the Reader to experience what I've designed my film have the viewing audience experience. The best way to guarantee that is to get my script critiqued by a Reader with a track record for delivering constructive advice so my script matures to it's very best. I've been blessed to have my material critiqued by Readers who have helped develop my stories without changing them. My greatest reward is a practical lesson in story structure.

It's becoming apparent that throughout the script-to-screen stages, your audience is anyone who hears about or reads your material. I'm still in the ‘what my audience reads’ phase of this process. Let me tell you, I'm just beginning to scratch the surface on pitching. I want to get my few scripts tight and produce a short or two before I go pitching an idea for a film. This is an industry!! Honestly, who knows me? Who wants to know me for that matter? ROFL!

So, I'll cruise these filmmaker waters learning as much as I can, sharing as much as I'm able, and receive all He has in store for me trusting He'll show me the way I should go. Hey, that's the best part of why I'm writing the type of screenplays for the movies I want to produce. A single purpose: to be a witness. What a relief! (Acts 1:8)

Happy writing,
/GM

Writing is rewriting until it’s written!